LOVE

I love him...
I love him so much!

Love,
Bianca Baby.

I Love Myself.

WhoOt2!

I pledged to myself...
*not to be fool again
* not to be hurt again
* not to feel pain again

Because....
*I can accept what happen between us.
*I realise that everything I do doesnt worth it.
*I have my strength and people who love me more than you do.
*I know I will be happy sooner or later.

And...
*I should forget you TOTALLY
*I should move forward and find happiness
*I already have my own aims. :p Better!

I rthought I will never forget but God have show the way.
Thanks God.

Love,
Baby Bianca.

Tired.

Am so tired....

Can I die?
Can I dissapear myself?
Can I live alone?
Can I be in peace?

Stop please...

Tired...
Tired...
Tired...

Let me alone...I know you don't care.
Don't ask if you don't trust me...
Don't ask if you gonna ask me again and again...
Tired...Hectic...

Love,
Baby Bianca

Such a jerk BROTHER!

Phewwww!

Its been a rough week for me. 

its been a long week!

Things happens and i kinda cant control it. 

I fought with my own brother(which is now, he is not my brother anymore).

Sucks!

If he thinks I hate him, let it be

If he thinks am not suppose to be like that, like I care?

If he thinks am bad, doesn't it clear enough?

BoOyah~

You dont have any idea how I survive this life, my life all this way!

And I just asks for a very tiny litle help....LIL HELP dude~

You said am not considered on how busy you are?

Oh well, before this I text you but have you reply any of it?

How bout last week? 

I dont talk right?

But now, I totally cant stand it anymore! 

Hey, I dont ask if I dont really need it ok?

You are my brother, who else I can turn too?

Our folk?

Heh, I think they rather ask me for helps than yours?

Why? Why me? Why I always be the first to ask for favors?

I am a student ok! I am not working yet! Oh please lah!!!!

You???? 

Selfish!

Oh I forgot.. You are good guy

Always have God word with you, very good....

But lets talk about responsibility! About realtionship! About helping people!

Totaly out of you! 

Oh.. people will talk. I know am the one who get the bad name because am the spoiled one, am the bad one, am the younger, am the 'not so holy' one!!!

Did they know anything about me? No!

Did they have a brother like you? No!

Did they face the same prob? No!

Did they??? the big NO!

You said I dont like you right?

Oh.. now I did!!!

I am not gonna die or watever its take without you.

You and your life can get lost from my life!

Dont ever call, sms, meet or everything!

I dont have any interest on you at all.

You are not my worries anymore.

So, please... Back Off!

and those middle finger is for 

MY 'LOVELY' BROTHER!

take it!

Love,

Baby Bianca

Blood On My Eyes...

I kinda don't understand every single love stories in my life. Each chapter ended tragically and I am the one who messed up with everything. Is that consider due my own stupidity? Or others?

Back to the past, it's all like question marks flooded on my head... I can't help being insane and disappoint people around me.

Lately, I think am over thinking about someone who is not belong to me... I become the stalker and always want to know everything about that person daily activities. Sound stupid right? But...can't help it. 

I wondered about such things:

1. Who's in his mind right now?

2. Who's text with him everyday, every night?

3. Who's talking to him on phone at night?

4. What's he think about me?

5. What's his feeling about me after all?

6. Who's with him now?

7. ????????? LOTS!

I know am not suppose to ask... to know who, what, where, everything about his life because we are over..

At the end of day.... every day.... every night... I realize how stupid i am...and I pledge to myself before going to sleep, not to care about him, ignore him as hard as i can try and have a good heart for others. But I wake up in the morning, I reached my phone and checked if he send MSG to me... Even when I heard the rumors you are with others girls, my heart sank and there's tears rolled down my cheeks. I pretend to be okay and supportive, so you can see me as a strong girl who can live my own life without you. Believe me...I am so green. Sneaky read you post sometimes make me feel you can forget me easily...and I will said to myself "He don't need me in his life..." How can i go on my life with all this? 

Every time i tried to make it up for both of us, its will end in hurting me and you. Your egos so high, i cant break it down. I have to admit I am not a good girl for you. Even if u insult me, i will never...never mad at you. All i can do is turn off the phone, lay down my bed, close my eyes and silently cry with my hand on my chest. I must be in great pain and suffered...

But... I know, there's must be a way for me. Its not the end of world... Even i tried so hard, even i tried so bad, I know there's no chance for me. Its all my fault because you and my life are different. I have my own reasons for all this, about our relationships. People will not understand except the person who close to me. People will curse me for hurting your heart, people will talk. I don't really mind because they just know the minimum details about me...All that bad words wont hurt me anymore.

And here... I pray to God. Please...let me end all this peacefully without any doubt. Give me strength to accept everything that happened to me.  I am weak and I don't have anyone to turn to anymore... You are the one who will listen, who will stay and be with me no matter in any circumstances. For you, I give all my worries and obstacles to be cure, to be done and to be overcome. I love you God and I believe in Your miracle. And i want to pray for him, lets he find the better woman in his life, who will show his the Light of You. I know there's a woman who always with him. talking to him at night, who successfully persuade him to go to church. I will pray for their happiness God. I know I am not a good one, who always put myself into trouble, who always find the reasons to escape from attending the church. But, You are the great, You are my Father, You love me not matter what i had done. Thank You Lord.  In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray.. Amen.

For all this matter, i will find my ways to continue my life without you...
You are my past
But....
I still love you
I still dream of you
I still thinking of you
I still wants you
Have a good day my love
I wont stop you....
Because am happy for your happiness
'GOODBYE MEMORIES'

Love,

Baby Bianca

WhOot2!

*Headacheof drama in my life
*Still not doing my work...due date just around the corner~ Hek!
*Missing the heat from the club~
*Any new place to eat delicious food?
*I think i need some entertainment since am busy with such things~
*WOo.. still want to go home...
*Eyh... LONGHOUSE sounds good huh? hahaha!
*Can i fly?
*Addict with SIMPLE LIFE~ Weee!
*Kind of sick with some selfish pips lately...especially the one who admit they are sooooo kind but actually bloody NOT!
*Love E!...
*Just going through over some pics just now.. I saw his pics and I miss him... Rest In Pic...Will pray for your happiness.
* Can i be a rock star? Hehehe
*Peek-A-Boo!
*I am fierce~ Aaah! Hehehe~
*Dreams a lot...
*I wanna be  billionaire so freaking bad....

Love,
Baby Bianca

-Boys over Girls-

whOot2!

I surf the internet and i  found this story.

I decided to post it here. :p

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
He said "No".

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever and he said "No".
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said "You're not pretty you're beautiful."

"I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever!".
"And I wouldn't cry if you walked away.I'd die!"

Love,
Baby Bianca

Billionaire Addict!

I wanna be a Billionaire
So freaking Bad...
Buy all the things i never had...

I wanna be on a cover
Of Forbes Magazines!
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen~

Uh Oh! Just Imagine yourself become a billionaire~ weeee.....

Lately:
*Busy with Assignment
*Tired but still can go on~
*Feel more Relax and Free Girl
*Am become Positive and Live my life better. Oh yes!
*Friends always care. wee~
*Homesick lor.. Hehehe~ Fly back to home if i could.
*Got new baby Cat named Mbai~ Hehehe She smaller than my palm
*Oh! Finally i bought SIMPLE LIFE from season 1 till 5! Yeay!
*Berat Badan naik lah.. hak!
*Got not enough sleep la...
*Hurm... I want to meet Mr Jekyll and Mr Hide~ WeeHuu! (*On plan)
*Buh! Will be not around for weekend~

Love,
BabyBianca

Holiday For 3 Weeks~

Actually, its only 2 weeks but i considered that 1 week for PBS at SK Sungai Sugai as a holiday! Because am at home~ Yeayyyyh!

So, I will at Pakan around 28hb-8hb September....
Then, i might be at Roban for Raya Festivel! Yeah!
I will be back to Miri on 18hb/19hb September...

Plans for Holiday:::
a) Have enough SLEEP!
b) Lost weight MAYBE~ :p
c) Get along with my three lil sis at home... HOHO
d) Enhance my skills of RACING~ *Blink2~*
e) Be more hardworking... Hehe....................
f) Give TUITION to my cousin~ Hak2!
g) Forget Everythings about YOU. Tet~
 f) ENJOY!!!


Love;
Baby Bianca

Story that can make me 'HAHA'!

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. 

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift." 

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift." 

The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift. 

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. 

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

Love,
Baby Bianca

Happy Birthday Big Brother!

Have a Blast!!!

-------------------------------------

Yesterday, 23 August 2010,

Kenneddy Guntor turn 24 years old! Yiehhaaaa~

Happy Birthday to you..

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to Ciday...

Happy Birthday to you....

and..

Happy Birthday to you,

You was born in the Zoo,

Like a monkey and kangaroo...

Happy Birthday to you!

Hahaha!

Wish you Gud Health and Wealth...

Make Us Proud of you. :p

Love,

Baby Bianca

I can be mad only for some silly reasons:::

1st:     I can be mad if people didnt pick up my call. Hehe... think of throwing the handphone to the wall.

2nd:   I can be mad if cats dont want to be friend with me... sad.

3rt:     I can be mad if my head knocked at the locker's door...stupid!

4th:    I can get mad if the lappy shut down for the battery low...coz am forget to switch on the battery.. silly!

5th:    I can be mad if the movie got stuck while am wacthing it...WHAT THE HELL?

6th:    I can be mad if I spill the sauce at my shirt....careless!

7th:   I can be mad if my handphone got white screen while am texting...need to wait then..............

8th:   I can be mad if I have to wake up in the midle of the night for natural call.... arghhh!

9th:   I can be mad if I forgot to buy something important after got back from town.... BABO~

10th: I can get mad if I wake up late and then I getting late for the classsssssssss!

For some reasons, I can easily getting mad...
Hehehe... bad but its happen.
Simple, i have my temper...and you?

*Baby Bianca*

Whisper of my heart...

New Hope

You will be fine...

You will find your happiness...

You will see your light...

You will know who care...

You will be okay...

Life as a bachelor...

Life as a bachelor...

when i look through my past, lots of things that crossed my mind. maybe that is my fate. maybe that is what am suppose to be...
living in this world without anyone to care about, to think about is a relief. fair enough to say that i learn to live alone in this world.
being a single is not the end of the world. i have to accept all the consequences that might be happen in the way of living. being single is not a crime...
one thing i just realise that i manage to see people around me. i am tired of being so addicted to a word of love. the best thing i had done is to let go... its more than worth of anything.
for those who is single, we are the same. this not the end of world...
i am sure, there must be the better person waiting for you...dont lost ur hope.

Love,
Baby Bianca